I was gonna write something about the farts I'm experiencing this morning, but I'm willing to bet most of you would be grossed out by it.. Suffice to say they are quite pungent today.. Stayed up until 3 or 4am last night snacking on a bunch of crap and now I'm all torn up.. Dunno why I stayed up late, there was no good reason for it.. Just didn't feel like sleeping.. I should've, cuz I'm tired as hell now, but fuck it.. Hindsight is 20/20, right?
So Thanksgiving is right around the corner.. Anyone have any big plans? Thanksgiving is kick ass.. You can gorge yourself on some of the dankest food you'll eat all year and no one will think less of you.. Ahh, sweet sweet gluttony.. You know, there's always been this weird tradition (if you can even call it a tradition) that on Thanksgiving, women are supposed to cook and men are supposed to sit around watching football.. Now I'm not gonna get all Fem Nazi Women's Lib on you, cuz god knows I think they're an inferior species (hahah jk jk), but I say that's bullshit.. Guys, if you can cook, get off your ass and help out.. Or shit, cook the meal yourself.. Chicks dig guys that can cook, and learning your way around a cooking device that doesn't involve propane or charcoal isn't a bad idea.. It doesn't make you any less of a man to know how to use an oven.. And really, do you need to watch the Lions play on Thanksgiving? Spoiler alert: they're gonna fucking lose!
In the spirit of Thanksgiving (probably should hold off until at least Wednesday for this discussion, but oh well, I've gone too far), what are you all thankful for? Here's what I'm thankful for, in no particular order:
friends: the only real reason I'm still in Illinois
family: even though they piss me off on a regular basis, still gotta love 'em
Eric: for being the best friend a guy could ask for.. totally not gay for you bro
Dan: for being Dan.. and that's a great thing.. you're awesome dude, and I am totally gay for you.. I hate you?
Kate: what can I say, she's a super awesome chick.. though a bit argumentative hahaha jk (i'm not kidding) :)
boobs: seriously, who doesn't like them? even some straight chicks like playing with them
booze: mostly cuz it kinda rhymes with boobs, but also because it is a good thing, so screw you feminists of the 1920's!
bars: because they generally contain three things on my list: friends, boobs and booze.. though i've been to a few bars lately that have been a bit short on the boobs hahaha
work: as much as I bitch about it, I've got a pretty sweet job.. there's a compliment hidden somewhere in that last statement.. it's like Waldo, you just gotta look for it
Family Guy: ahh, the laughter...
Internet: porn, the Blog of Hilarity, myspace, google, videos of people getting punched in the nuts... all good things, all just a click away...
free shit: really anything that's free is good.. like samples when you're walking through a grocery store.. or the change bums hand you in their Styrofoam cups... oh, i'm supposed to GIVE them money, not TAKE it?? well wtf!! no wonder they get so pissed... well fuck them for using styrofoam cups.. carbon footprints indeed.. stupid jerks
Cyanide and Happiness: they make fun of Jesus, cancer, chi-mos.. everything about this is great
Ok guess it's time to go back to work.. *sigh* i'm sleepy.. 2-3 hours of sleep last night... fuck
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