the weekend cure-all

So Friday was one of the roughest days I've had in a while.. I'm pretty sure I seriously considered jumping in front of a freight train on numerous occasions.. I guess it could've been worse.. I suppose someone I know could've called me to tell me they have some terminal illness or something awful like that... But no, it was just a god-awful, shitty fucking day.. Nothing like an awesome weekend to turn things around!

Friday night I got fucked up and threw snowballs at teddy bears, cars and Eric's walls.. We set fire to a doll.. We played single-shot-nerf-gun-spin-and-shoot... Oh and we broke through a flimsy kid's easle, and Eric's buddy thinks he broke his hand.. I say impossible because that thing was like punching through wet cardboard.. Shit Eric and I went for 4 layers at some point, like fucking Chuck Norris. Did you know Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down? True story... Anyway, there's a bunch of hilarious videos up now of this eventful evening, check out them out here:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.channel&channelID=408764405

Saturday I spent with Kate's family.. Talk about immersion! haha It was great though, ate a shit ton of awesome food (that stuffing was the shizzle), drank a bunch of beers and had a bunch of laughs.. Her grandma threatened me with a knife at one point, and her aunt yelled at me because she thought I was talking about Bloomington, not Bloomingdale... Hilarious shit.. I was just trying to get directions to the highway, next thing I know I'm being scolded.. hahahaha well yeah, that's my life.. Try to do one thing, get yelled at about something almost unrelated.. hahaha good times..

Oh and last night we got drunk again, down in the city... Got scolded by some gay bartender about ordering Irish Car Bombs.. Apparently they had just had some meeting and decided they'd no longer serve them... Yet Kate was able to get a Jager Bomb AND a Miller Lite????!!! Yeah, that makes sense.. So the rest of us were like, "Ok, let's have 4 Guinneses, 4 shots of Jameson, and 4 shots of Bailey's..." But the bartender was on to our scheme... Damn him... But seriously, if you're going to serve one person a Jager bomb and a beer at the same time, surely you can deal up some Car Bombs there, barkeep.. Ahh well, I had a Guinness instead and it was good..

Oh man on the way back we stopped at the Des Plaines Oasis, because apparently eric and i are getting old and frequently have to pee.. I wonder if I should invest in some FloMax.. Anyway, so we go to McDonald's, and this guy is bitching up a storm about how it took 5 minutes to get his coffee.. I mean he's throwing a genuine temper tantrum.. What a little bitch that guy was.. I think we were both really close to saying something, but he just shuffled out in a pissy huff..

Ok this blog is retarded.. No poop stories.. Oh jesus, speaking of poop... I gotta go!!