zombies attack!!

I hope, one day, when zombies actually do attack, that I get to see this:

Zombies Ate My Homework!!

I really hope zombies attack us one day. But I want bad ass, Dawn of the Dead (2004) type zombies, not those slow moving, kinda dumb zombies like Night of the Living Dead (1968). That way, I would finally be able to hunt humans! See, there's these laws that kinda sorta prohibit me from hunting humans. But when they turn to zombies, well all that goes right out the window! I would go all Texas-style on them, get an old pick up truck with flood lights and a gun rack, and drive around town drinking Hamm's and shooting zombies with a shotgun. I think police would suspend the whole DUI thing too, at least for a while until we deal with the zombies, which is great because I'm pretty sure I'd need a drink while hunting said zombies. I wonder if zombie decoys would work? Like duck hunters that have those ceramic, like-like ducks to lure living ducks in, then blast their heads off with a rifle.. Remember Duck Hunt, that game that came with the original Super Mario Bros? I fucking hated that dog that laughed at you if you missed those ducks.. Fuck you, hunting dog, those ducks on the harder levels were like trying to hit a stealth bomber with a sling shot.. I'd like to see you try.. Oh, wait, that's right, no opposable thumbs.. Oh, and you're a fucking dog.. Your canine intelligence is no match for my people intelligence! What were we talking about? Oh, right, zombies. So, yeah, I want to hunt zombie humans.

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And on a really quick political note, Blagojevich has been removed from office.. I have to say, I'm really surprised. The guy comes across as such a stand-up kinda guy. Like the type of dude that wouldn't roofie your drink so he could try to bang your girlfriend. I would trust my children to his care. Maybe he could teach them the value of money.. Ooooo did I just make a Jew joke? haha

Oh, and here's the funny part.. The senate voted 59-0 in favor of kicking his ass to the curb. 59-0!!! That's like Tom Brady's Patriots vs the Oakland Raiders... Or me vs. Lebron James in one-on-one basketball.. But now he's got all this free time, I wonder what he's going to do? I've made a list of the top 5 possibilities:

1) Make bagels
2) Count the money he's about to lose in the civil trials
3) Play Spin the Dredle
4) Go to dental/law/business/accounting school
5) Sell his virginity on eBay

Yeah, that's right, I bet he's virgin.