what is wrong with me

It's early, I'm tired and a little while ago I was grouchy.. But now I'm in a better mood, so I figured I'd give this a whirl early while I'm all disoriented to see what kind of random bullshit I could come up with.

I really want to get back to writing the parody CD with Eric.. He was jamming the Nazi and retard songs last night, and they really are gems.. We have a veritable cornucopia of song ideas, too.. We've got lyrics for Jesus is a Deadbeat, which I don't think requires any explanation. We all know he is.. Son of God my ass.. He's like the spiritual equivalent of Paris Hilton.. Talk about an heiress (well, heir I suppose). Could you imagine being the son of god? How kick ass would that be? I would make him teach me all of his magic powers, like lighting cigarettes with lightning from my finger tips, or whatever David Blane-esque tricks god can do. I mean really, if you were god, wouldn't you fuck around at least a little? Why does god have to be portrayed as such a fucking stiff all the time? He's got long hippy hair, I bet he's a little more chilled out now.. Plus he's a billion years old, so you know, doesn't have quite the same spring in his step that he once had.

I think it's kinda lame that science has explained most of the plagues in Exodus.. You all know me, for the most part, and probably all know that I don't believe in god and all, but I always liked Exodus because he just went crazy on people. I mean he really fucked the Egyptians up: frogs, locusts, rivers of blood, swarms, boils, disease, darkness and death to first borns.. How fun!! It's like god woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or his wife was bitching at him all day, or he had a bad day at work, and decided to take it out on humanity. Big cry baby..

Well that's all for today I think.. I dunno, maybe I'll be inspired later to talk about lepers and cannibals. We'll see.