it's about damn time

Boy, I've really been slacking on these damn blogs. What was once pure entertainment for myself (and hopefully you guys) is now becoming somewhat of a chore to keep up. It's not so much that I don't want to do these, but I just don't have the fucking time anymore. But, I managed to squeeze about 30 seconds out of my day today to post this, so you better read it and enjoy it! Onwards....

There's some funny shit I've seen on the internet recently, and here's some of it:

Kid Fathers Baby That's a Little Too Close to His Age Group
Full Story Here
Ugh... Really? This fucking kid is 13 and already has a baby? And he thinks he's going to be a devoted and caring father? He has no idea what being a father means. Fuck, I'm 28, I've been around kids for years and years, I have a bunch of friends and relatives that have kids, and I don't know what being a father really means. I don't think anyone does until they actually have kids, and even then I'm willing to bet it takes them 20-some-years to figure it out, if they ever do.

And really, how long do you think before this kid gets tired of having to deal with raising this kid before he tries to throw it in a dumpster or something? I couldn't even take care of a hermit crab at 13 because I didn't have the attention span to feed it regularly. Take this quote from the proud new papa Alfie:

"I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10."

Great.. So Alfie here is going to raise this kid on £10 that he gets "sometimes"? That's like $15 every once in a while. You can't even maintain a decent smoking/porn/drug habit on an unreliable $15 income. Though porn is pretty much free now (god bless the internet). And this article has a very distinct "aww, how cute is this" tone, like we're looking at a litter of kittens in a wicker basket. No, this isn't cute. This is fucked up and just another example of how fucking backwards and retarded this world really is. Ugh. Enough of this little pecker. I hope he figures it out, but I'm not holding my breath.

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More Stupid Criminals
Here's a random selection of awesome mugshots from TheSmokingGun.com. There's not a single one in this group that I'd be comfortable seeing in any public area without a bright orange jumpsuit and wrist-to-ankle shackles, except maybe the Joker kid:

So this kid shows up at a movie theater, dressed as the Joker, and plans to steal Dark Knight movie posters. 'Nuff said? Yeah, I thought so too.
Nerdy Kid Thinks He's the Joker, Gets Busted

Hmm.. I don't even need to say anything about this guy.. But I will say kudos to whoever beat the shit out of him. He could probably use a few more licks from that billy club. I really hope this guy gets gang raped during his stint in prison.
Ignorant White Trash at Its Finest

And finally, this guy... Here's a tip: if you want to try to look like some bad ass satan worshiper, don't get a fucking bow tie tattoo on your neck. It kinda takes away from your street cred. And really, couldn't he throw a little color in there? Some crimson, perhaps? And what the fuck is he trying to look like? From the side shot, it looks like the tattoo is forming some sort of horn as it goes further back along the side of his head, which would indicate he's going for some sort of demon look. Personally, I think he looks like a fucking idiot.
Insert Clever Linking Headline About White Trash Here

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Here's a good example of how a loving husband would do anything for his spouse. Even if that means dragging her wounded body to a street he knows how to spell:

That has seriously got to be the funniest solution to this problem he could've come up with. "I'll drag her over to Oak St., you can pick her up there." He didn't even ATTEMPT to spell eucalyptus (which, admittedly, is a lot harder to spell than you'd think).. But for fuck's sake, that's his home address! And, I'm sorry, but I have to ask: WHO THE FUCK GETS ATTACKED BY A WARTHOG AT THEIR HOME?? Where are warthogs wandering aimlessly through residential neighborhoods, terrorizing housewives? I didn't think warthogs were even native to the US. Ahh well, he probably mistook the warthog for a potbelly pig or some other relatively harmless, and generally domesticated, animal.

Ok, that's all for today and, if recent history has taught us anything, that's probably all for about a week. Later on dildos!