april fools

A few people I know decided to play April Fool's jokes on the general populous, and I even got some backlash for not doing my own prank.. I'll get back to that in a minute.. So Tom told everyone he BIC'ed his head, but then retracted it shortly thereafter.. Kudos to getting everyone riled up about it, but no points due to lack of committment. Ya gotta really SELL that shit dude! Tomfoolery indeed..

Lisa on the other hand had me going for a couple days with her fake engagement. 10 points for originality, and 100000000 points for ruining Dan's ego! Hahaha just kidding man, you know I love ya!

As for myself, I haven't been into April Fool's jokes ever since that one time I left a fake message for a friend that the doctor called and told him the tests came back positive. He wore black and cried for one whole year, saving every tear in a jar. What a pansy..

Not much else going on. I got a dog, which anyone who reads this is undoubtedly aware of and probably tired of hearing about. But she kicks ass and she fucked up a neighbor's dog in a friendly puppy fight, so that was cool. She pinned his ass and had her mouth around his throat. If she were really a killer, that dog would be Chinese food by now, but she's really just a pacifist.

I don't get what the big deal is about eating dogs. Like I wouldn't eat my dog, because she's more fun to play with and, frankly, she'll have much more meat on her in a couple years than she does now, but why is everyone so grossed out by this. Is it the "dogs have personality" argument from Pulp Fiction? That can't be it, because there's a ton of animals that don't have personality that I wouldn't eat: cockroaches, pill bugs, and Jews. And there's a ton of animals with personality that I would eat: kittens, puppies and koala bears. I dunno, maybe I'm weird.

Finally, what the fuck is up with The Day After Tomorrow-esque weather today? It's like Frosty the Snowman had the runs and shit all over northern Illinois. It's April for god's sake, get with the warm weather already!! And no, there will be no shitty jokes about global warming not making the earth warmer. But seriously, it shouldn't be called "warming" if it's affecting the whole weather cycle; it should be called Global Weather Cluster Fuck, though I don't know if they can say that on the news. They should be able to, I'm tired of censorship. Tell it like it is: we're all fucked. Like the economy; quit pussy footing around it and just tell us we're all fucked and we just need to ride it out.

Ok I got nothing else for you lassies and lads. Take it easy!