Since I have absolutely nothing original to say today (ie I'm incapable of pulling a blog out of my ass like my man BK is perfectly capable of doing on a nearly daily basis), I'm bringing you a collection of internet tidbits I've seen over the last few days. Enjoy:
Why People Need to Open a History Book
Protestor Doesn't Have All the Facts
Right... Umm, 1936 ring a bell? You know, I'm all for people being political activists, but for fuck's sake know what you're talking about. The 1936 Olympics were actually kinda a big deal because THEY WERE HOSTED IN NAZI GERMANY.. A couple interesting things took place:
1) Jesse Owens, an African-American track and field competitor who couldn't piss in the same bathroom as white people in America, got a standing ovation from Adolf Hitler, the same man who was annihilating Jews, Gypsies, and a number of others in Eastern Europe. Our own president, FDR, didn't even recognize Owens' accomplishments. Weird, huh?
2) America nearly boycotted the Olympics for fear of appearing to support the Nazi movement. After some debate, it was decided that the Jewish athletes were being treated fairly enough. One guy even suggested that sports and politics shouldn't be intermingled. Silly, naive man.. It wasn't until the Munich games in 1972 that the Jews had a rough time at the Games, when a militant group known as Black September massacred members of the Israeli team. I don't know how accurate it is, but the movie is fucking great.
But I digress.. If you're going to protest, if you're going to be an active participant in political issues, if you're going to open your fucking mouth and say anything whatsoever, please please please know what the fuck you are talking about. Thanks!
I Really Hope This Becomes a Phenomenon
Kid Needs to Watch Superbad, Take Notes
Every guy out there has had the awkward boner moment; some hide it better than others. Jonah Hill pointed out that the best thing to do is to tuck it up under your belt because it hides the boner AND feels good. However, I take exception with him acting like he invented this maneuver.. I've been hiding boners under my belt ever since I knew cruising around in public with a boner was unacceptable. I also know people who've taken the complete opposite approach and just whip their boners out on people, usually with excellent results (ie he didn't get maced or arrested). So, you know, different strokes for different folks. Pun intended.
Apparently Muslims DON'T Treat Women Well... Who Knew..
From my friend over at Blog of Hilarity comes this gem:
Not A Great Way To Handle A Kid Finding Your Porn
The BoH guy does fail to point out a very obvious odd circumstance of this story: a Muslim guy has porn... Don't they cut out their eyes or castrate them for looking at porn? These are the same people that cut off hands for stealing bread. Surely porn ownership is taboo in their culture as well, especially considering they keep their women covered up from head to toe. Speaking of which, I've run into this Muslim lady at my local grocer that freaked me out really bad the first time I saw her. She kinda looked like this. Now keep in mind I was probably hung over and/or drunk at the time I saw her, but it startled me a bit. Perhaps that's the post 9/11 world we live in. And I promise to never again mention 9/11 in my blogs. Eric doesn't like politics. He'll make me eat his cobra.
Cyanide and Happiness Is Funny Again
A Tip for Insomniacs
I wonder how far you would get counting sheep and taking shots. In theory, you're supposed to count one sheep every few seconds so, in a minute, you'd end up taking about 20 shots. Now, even though my tolerance has become something of legend (if only to myself), I really think this would mangle me.. Shit, I think this would mangle even the most seasoned lush. This would make 99.999% of the population hurl faster than Eric drinking Jameson (ba-zing!). Unless you were taking these shots with pretzels and fried dough, you're going to be in for a rough night.
Oh, and about the title of this section.. Is it just me, or has Cyanide and Happiness lost something lately? It just doesn't have that same edge it used to. Another comic, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, has really gotten my attention now. And, of course, XKCD, which is really my first choice in internet comics.
Police Get Their Comeuppance
Riots at a Soccer Match?? Stop the Press!!
I'm sorry, but I had no idea that soccer (excuse me, FUTBOL) fans where a riotous bunch. But it's nice to see that they can stick up for each other when the cops are getting a little out of control. It's also nice to see that there are crazier fans out there than White Sox fans. Now, before anyone gets all bent out of shape, not every Sox fan is a complete retard, but ever since the 2005 Series win, it seems like everyone and their mother are fucking Sox fans. Listen, guys... You hadn't won a Series since 1917, you hadn't been to a World Series since 1959, and you've won one playoff game since then.. So get off your fucking soap boxes and have a little slice of humble pie. What sucks is back in 2005, I was actually excited that a Chicago team one a championship, even if I am a Cubs fan. But the tirade of bullshit from supposed Sox fans since then has tainted my entire opinion of that storied season and makes me want to punch kittens in the face. Or masturbate so God kills one. I'm open for either here.
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