enough with the snow already

First decent snowfall and I'm already over it.. What a pity. The thing I probably hate most about the winter is it is just barely light out when I get to work, and it's usually getting dark by the time I leave. I feel like a fucking vampire, though I don't feel dead inside, and I do have a reflection.. Oh, and I like garlic.. Ok, so I'm not a vampire. That's the good news. The bad news? I fucking hate winter! It was cool as a kid when you could run around and white-wash people (or get white-washed, depending on your perspective) or throw snowballs or go sledding. Now if I do that, I have angry parents calling the cops on me. How was I supposed to know it's inappropriate for me to white-wash little Johnny? What kind of world do we live in?

You know what would be sweet? Have a shit ton of money and just go to Mexico for the winter.. Or any place warm.. Maybe I'll just move to Mexico permanently.. I like Mexicans, I like their food, I like their climate... The only thing I don't like is their music, and even that makes me bob my head occasionally, so maybe it's not all that bad.. Except the nylon guitar strings.. Who the hell uses nylon? And don't say mariachi bands..

Besides migrating, another nice option for the winter would be hibernation.. I'd love to stock up my apartment with food and water and then sleep from mid-November through, oh, March-ish... I love sleep.. I need to figure out how to make a decent living by sleeping.. I doubt it's possible, unless I become a guinea pig for pharmaceutical companies.. Which would be cool, 'cause then I'd get some sweet drugs that knock me out.. Hmm.. New career path? Perhaps...

Anyways.. Pretty much everyone I know that reads this is an adult by now, if only by the legal definition.. Anyone else getting tired of adulthood yet? I understand that we all have some deep-rooted social obligation to not be leeches on the teat of society, and I'm certainly willing to go along with it and do my part, but man does it fucking suck sometimes. Is this really what life is supposed to be? An endless procession of similarly-themed days (wake up, shower, work, go home, sleep, repeat) with the occasional weekend debauchery? Maybe that's why I like partying during the week too... My work week is usually aggravating and frankly makes me want to punch a kitten in the mouth.. Any PETA people read this? Yeah? Good, because I like making fur carpets out of bear hides.. So yeah...

Fuck I'm bored... This day is gonna drag, I can see it already.. Oh well, back to it I guess.

hello, i’m robert redford

So Robert Redford is apparently still getting work, which is nice 'cause I always kinda liked him.. The last movie I remember him being in was Spy Game, which was pretty bad ass, though he was kind of a douche in it... Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever really did like him.. He's always a bit of a douche.. Hmm.. Well anyway, Big Red is now narrating the Cosmic Collisions show at the Adler Planetarium.. His opening line ("Hello, I'm Robert Redford") is delivered exactly like the Robert Loggia bit in Family Guy.. Quite hilarious.. Then the big collision scene, which had me in stitches... "Will the comet strike the Earth?" *moment of great anticipation* "No..." What the hell? I thought this was called Cosmic Collisions, not Comets That Don't Hit Us... Though it's probably for the best 'cause the two kids I was with were about to crap their pants thinking the world was going to end..

Oh, and yes, you read that right... I went to the planetarium over the weekend... It was fun, got a little dose of education.. For instance, did you know the moon was formed in one month? Yeah, that's exactly what I said.. No fucking way.. But hey, that's why I'm not an astrophysicist.. Or maybe an astrogeologist.. I wonder what your title would have to be in order to be considered someone qualified enough to comment on the length of time it took to create the moon.. And I wonder if you'd have to have enough Star Wars collectibles to make the 40-Year-Old-Virgin green with envy... Probably..

I'm really ill-prepared for the onset of winter, which apparently is right around the corner.. It's getting cold out, it's dark when I wake up and when I get home from work (damn Standard Time!!) and I just feel like hibernating for the winter until daylight savings is back in effect.. Or is it affect? I think effect.. High Lifes or High Lives? The debate continues... Sorry, I digress.. And I'm really tired of seasonal depression.. Winter just puts me in such a shitty mood.. I do enjoy the snow, though.. Maybe I'll go skiing this year.. Or try snowboarding.. Maybe I'll wrap myself around a tree like Sonny Bono hahaha (too soon?).

Speaking of too soon, I heard a hilarious off-the-cuff Obama joke last night:

"It must suck to be president and still get eye-balled when you go into a 7-11" hahahaha I'll skip all the requisite grape soda, Kool-Aid and hot wing jokes.. Those are just too easy..